I recently joined a new gym, specifically a Lifetime Fitness club.  It’s a lovely place with lots of neato features but the best feature is the people watching.  The last gym I belonged to had a relatively small member population, limiting the kind of human observation one finds at places like Seaside Heights, NJ.

Tonight was a banner evening.  I walked into the locker room and immediately regretted not bringing a camera.  There was a dude standing in front of the mirror, tighty whiteys only, flexing, grunting and drinking a GNC protein shake.  EPIC.  When I walked past him, he winked and made smooching kissy noises at me, WHOA.

Then there are the nude guys.  Now, I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin and am totally fine with getting changed in front of strangers.  But is it REALLY necessary to strut about the locker room buck naked like you’re King Dingaling?  And not to be weird, but its always the extra large, hairy ones engaging in this sort of lewd behavior.

Would you like a sandwich and liter cola while you march around like a 200 pound flamingo?

No? Ok, then put your pants on, CLOWN.